Despite the fact that Babygirl normally slept in the morning, I took them both out one day to a playconnect playgroup. A playgroup for parents of kids with autism to meet. There was a mum there with her daughter. She was the same age as Jellybean, ready to start kindy the next year. I started talking to her about where to go because honestly I was completely and utterly lost. Jellybean is was nonverbal (not counting a few approximation words) oh and he could most definately say no!!, and this autism thing was only quite new. here i was though having to make decisions on schooling - ed support, mainstream, special school!!!
She told me she had enrolled her daughter in this school and maybe I should one day go check it out. After I left the playgroup, I thought about it for a while and finally decided to go have a look. I had a chat with this lady who runs it whom i must say is one of the most abrupt women i have ever met but I really liked the school and I applied to go. thankfully he was accepted and we have not looked back.
ABA worked!!!!! He started to approximate language, to know shapes, colours, verbs, nouns. All the things I had been struggling to teach him for almost two years and finally he was getting it. I am not saying that ABA is the only way, but its the way that has worked for my son. When he was first diagnosed an autism advisor came out to my house (babygirl was only 4months old) I was hormonal and sleep deprived. I did not know what to do so I put him in EI at the autism association. There was some good points by which his turntaking and sharing skills improved but everyting else went downhill. The boy whom i had worked so hard to get 40-50 single words out of was now completely nonverbal and his behaviour was appalling. I kept asking for help there but wasnt getting anywhere. Seeing his school was the nudge I desperately needed to get him out and in different therapy.
We have a communication book at school as the teachers dont have a lot of time to tell us about their day or any issues. Today I got a note...Could you please get Jellybean a haircut as he is stimming off his fringe and it is affecting his attention in class.
WHAT!!! I literally laughed out loud. Okay, another thing that parents of neurotypical kids probobly dont have to worry about. never even occured to me that it could be a stim :-)
I knew his hair was long and needed a haircut but okay, guess i will get it done today!
Okay, deep breath and off to get a haircut.....I HATE HATE HATE getting haircuts with jellybean. Jellybean HATES HATES HATES it too. It is awful, he is literally petrified, he screams NO NO NO NO at me, clings on for dear life and just sobs and sobs and sobs. He cant wear the aprons, he cant tolerate the hair falling on him either so it is just a painful experience for everyone involved. I have tried distractions with DVD, toys, singing. I have been to specialised kids hairdressers where he got to sit on a car or motorbike. Same ending though....tears, tears and more tears.
Today I walked into a little hairdresser salon near my mums house. When the hairdresser heard me say that he is autistic and heard him scream, she pretty much stopped what she was doing and came over to us. She was so wonderful. She tried distraction and talked to him calmly forever saying he was just like her son. i was thinking, great another person who thinks their kid is like mine just because he hates haircuts but no, she has a nine year old autistic son who hates haircuts too and all of jellybeans behaviours reminded her of her son when he was little. I had little old ladies offering him sweets and showing him toys, telling him he was so handsome and brave. It was just so wonderful that I have tears just thinking about how lovely and compassionate all the lovely ladies in the salon today were. I walked out with him still crying saying thankyou to the five beautiful women who made me feel warm and fuzzy inside. There are some truly lovely, compassionate people out there and I and grateful to meet some of them today.
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